As I ponder changes in our home, both with homeschooling and otherwise, one thing that keeps coming up is curriculum. It is a never-ending battle with me! And I am annoyed by that. I want to embrace the unschooling philosophy, and to a point I DO, we implement some of the ideas in our home. I struggle with letting go of my own schooling, how that has affected my thinking about learning (even though I have learned so much about learning and how we do it). The best way isn’t sitting at a desk and letting someone else tell us what to learn…..at least not for all of us! I understand that. What I get caught up in is sometimes my own fears.
“Will they really be learning? What will they be learning? How do I know if they’re learning? And, especially with a high school student waiting in the wings, how do I put what is learned into a transcript if I don’t have them follow a structured curriculum?! Plus, there are so many great curriculum packages out there. I have used several and loved them! What if they watch too much tv or use the computer and play video games too much? What if they don’t get outside enough? What if they don’t learn to play an instrument or perform in any plays? What happens when……”
See what I mean? Questioning, always questioning! It’s not that none of those things are valid. We all need balance in our lives, and I try to find that with myself and teach my kids how to find it. But I worry that I am teaching them to be lazy or selfish. I also don’t want to push them too much or to deny them time to learn about and work in their own giftings and interests.
One thing I have concluded over the last week or so, with the help of my lovely friend Michelle, is that I ultimately need to seek God. I need to place all of this fear and worry before Him. He has the answer! How will I hear Him whisper it to me if I am not even listening?
I have heard Him some this week. He has used my husband and a couple of friends to help me see that one avenue I was exploring isn’t for our family. I know He will continue to guide me in every area. However, He cannot guide me if I am not seeking to follow!
This week I am trying harder to listen, working to give Him my fears before they overwhelm me and steal my joy in the now. I love hearing His voice, knowing it is His, and standing in the promises He gives to His children.
So glad I am His!